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The Superficial Asshole!

Be WARNED, you can leave if you don't want to be offended. (Oh, and this is the longest entry EVER)

Yesterday was one of those nights where I literally wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to chuck a bowl at this person's face and let him feel the pain of his disgusting comment. Not only was I humiliated and embarrassed, I was hurt in public. The family and I went out to dinner last night and we were having a good time, when someone said that I was a "Fat disgusting pig." This person is my mother's brother who also is the biggest bigot in the world. The fact that he said it so loud nearly two tables had turned around to see who it was that he just called "Fat".

If you don't know me and you take one look at me, is it all you see? How my body looks? Sure, I don't look like the skinny average asians who starve themselves just to fit into those skinny jeans, but I have something everyone else doesn't have. Curves. I am able to fit into something sexy and have people say "Damn, look at that girls ass." Yes, you heard me. Some people strive to have the perfect everything, but I don't. I'm happy with my ass and my breasts. At least I have some. Even if there not the size of watermelons, I'm still glad I have some. I will never be a size 0 and that so fine by me.

So, the bitch in me came out and I said "Your face looks like a piece of shit." And thats when no one spoke. He literally went red and his wife stared at my face for five minutes. I didn't stop there, I said " You're a piece of worthless shit in this world." My mom asked me to stop, but why should I. Every single word is true. No one stands up to him ever, and he treats everyone else like dirt. He said my mother was a bitch for not teaching me to respect elders. For a 45 year old man, he is a jerk off. He doesn't care about anyone but himself and I don't really care if he's part of the family or not because that comment showed how he truly is. He is a superficial person who is uneducated. His wife is my size and she ain't a supermodel. So does he mean to tell me that he's sleeping with a fat pig?

Don't ever make assumptions about someone just because of their looks. We are the way we are and the comments that you make hurt. Thats why there are so many anorexics and sick people out there.

My whole family didn't say anything about last night and I really dare them to. Not only was I crying my eyes out, but my dad was the only person I told how I felt. He's never once judged me, because he's my dad. A man who can see past the outside is a person who is truly human. The day went by without phone calls or a emails. I just wonder if everyone I know thinks the same way? Do they all see what's on the outside and not what's on the inside? Are we so superficial to the point where we pass judgement in an instant?

How can I get pass this? I sure wished I believed in the Lord more, maybe then he can show me a way? I try my best to not let this comment get to me. But you must remember, I don't have steel balls. I tell myself that I am better than low-lives, but I can't admit that I am ok. Cause I am not.

To finish off this long entry, I have to say one thing. Don't ever call anyone you meet fat, ugly, or disgusting. Words are really powerful in life, it helps you express your feelings and emotions about anything. FYI, they hurt. So choose your words wisely. Think of it this way, you wouldn't call your mother a fat pig right? Then why would you call anyone else that?

I know what you all must think, why would you say this about a family member? Truthfully, I don't give a shit because I never considered him one.

Thank You!


I love the package very much. Thank You Riley_Merrick
School mostly. I've decided that I dont want to be a nurse and be a teacher instead. I know, the pay isnt all to great. But the vacation days are. And Im not willing to work 24/7 and have nothing in return. The semester was a tragedy. Since I didnt do so well in one of my nursing classes, I decided to drop the major all together. The reality hit me like a fast ball. I wasnt any good at science and I knew it. But I wanted to see if I can achieve the impossible. I couldn't. It literally took me half a semester to say "Ok, life isn't going the right way. What should I do?" Well you get up and start from scratch. Basically that means you get off your ass and try the best to your ability. (I've gained exactly 6 pounds from excessive eating cause of stress and the pain of changing my major).

During the summer I literally sat home and cried while the sun was shining over my head. At first I thought maybe it was just the emotions riding up on me. Truth was I had to go to the doctor and have him tell me that I had a breakdown. Mentally and physically I thought I was ok, but my body said "HELL NO!"

Now that the semester's over, I am back on track. I've cut out the junk food and started to excercise. I guess the truth is always harder to take, no matter how strong a person really is. Now I just need to find the right way to lose weight.
Until next time.


College life isnt fun...

I have to say college isnt what they said it would be. People say, you get to go partying and stay out late. But all I've been doing is studying.. I have a trillion things to do and it all consists of schoolwork. Its so sad. I have no social life cause I end up in the library studying or at home doing papers. Since finals are around the corner. That means my head is stuck in the text book 24/7. Since its my first year, i really dont want to screw with my gpa. What should I do?

I watched this little girl eat her chapstick as if it was candy on the bus yesterday. The mom said "dont eat it". kids love hearing Dont, No, or Stop. They'll still continue doing whatever there doing. So, she smacked her lips and said mmm...strawberry right in front of me.


Another day in my shoes..

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August 2008


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